DIVORCED IS A PERMANENT STATUS AND OTHER SHORT STORIES
Divorce, Grad School, Moving On, Relationships — By admin on 12/06/2010 6:44 pm
When you get divorced, you want it over. You don’t want to be married anymore, that’s the point. You feel tarnished, socially embarrassed and like a failure, but that’s your opinion and you really don’t want anyone else’s.
I find that forms remind me of my divorce. I went to the dentist recently and the intake form asked if I were single, married, divorced or widowed. Why? I want to know why my dentist needs to know my marital status. Why do they need to remind someone if their husband or wife died? (This may sound trivial and dramatic if you’re not widowed or divorced, but believe me, it’s not.) I sat in the dentist’s office contemplating what to circle. Logistically I am divorced, yet I am in a relationship in which I live with my partner and I am “legally” single. Maybe I think too much into things, but I wondered how it would look if I put “divorced” and would she feel bad for me? Would she think I can’t commit, or I fight a lot or I’m disfunctional?
I am in the process of filling out my FAFSA (financial aid form) for graduate school and I want to look my best and start off on the right foot, however, the FAFSA form asks for one’s marital status and gives the following three choices: single, separated, divorced or widowed. For some reason they lump divorced and widowed into the same category, which in some ways makes sense. Why do I have to put this, and what does it mean when I do? If I tell the truth, as my signature at the end of the form promises, what do they do with that information? Do divorced people not pay back loans? Is it better to not be single? I really do not want to put that I’m divorced. It’s such a personal question. I understand that alimony is a factor for financial aid, but when you’re only married a year, have a quicky divorce and want to shed any memory of it – how does one do that?
Divorce feels like a permanent status. When you’re single, you have a blank state, but then you get married and that’s your new status. Then you “fuck it up” and get divorced and then you are always divorced. When can I get out of “divorced”? Do I have to get married again to change my status? Can I ever be “single” again? Is there an expiration date for a status? If I plan to never get married, will I stay permanently divorced?
NOTE - My next post is about insect-shaped cock rings. Bound to please. - “Divorced is a Permanent Status and other short stories” is a book that I am working on.
Related posts:
- JUST IN CASE PLAYBOY ASKS ME TO “TAKE OFF MY PANTS” AND OTHER STORIES.
- GETTING DIVORCED IN A UPS STORE
- I DON’T WANT TO GET A DIVORCE FOR FEAR OF FACEBOOK’S BROKEN HEART. IT’S TOO EMBARRASSING.
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6 Comments
Status: Other
If Other, please write a brief description: Ate ex Mantis-style; kept ring
I actually stopped ticking the divorced box a long time ago. I got all Fuck You with society and decided that I was going to declare my own status rather than have it forced upon me.
It didn’t really work though. It was a just a means of denial.
Whose business is it?
Yes i know im a little late in the comment but i just found out about the blog and web page, very good by the way, so i live in mexico where jewish converts arent exactly…. ideal partners, im 25 now and ive been working hard on giving everything for my future family, so i meet a nice jewish girl and after a while we decide to get married and after a 6 month engagment i find out half of her family doesnt know shes engaged because of my “pedigree”, now ive remodeled what was going to be our apartment and bought her a van etc etc and now she dates someone who is socially accpeted but still says she loves me, and I used to be happy funny etc, but now i feel like everyone i know sees me and gives me the ” you really didnt see this coming?”….. As if its a cold you cought after being in the rain, thats logical, not this, anyway just curious as if you had any thoughts on the matter since all my friends aparently give me the pitty look i would rather hear what you hace to say if anything
Hi Gabe,
Well, I’m not “Dear Abby,” but I love it when people ask me advice, or I think I do.
You said two major things in your comment. 1.) The gal did not tell her family about you because of your “pedigree” and 2.) She is dating someone else.
It doesn’t matter that your friends think that you should have known…believe me, at my wedding my sister gave a speech pretending not to know me. (She now says she didn’t have the heart to tell me that she thought the relationship was disastrous.) You learn and you move on.
I wouldn’t try to convince anyone of anything. It’s not that I don’t believe in fighting for things, but her morals sounds whack…especially the pedigree thing. That doesn’t sound right. Your mate should be your biggest fan and your greatest partner.
You sound nice. You’ll be just fine.
I check ‘single’. That’s what I am now anyway, right?