MOVING BACK TO NYC AND FUCKING THINGS UP AGAIN
Boyfriend, Grad School, Life, New York, New York City, The Blog — By admin on 08/13/2011 8:05 pm
I’m sitting in the Second Stop Cafe in Williamsburg, Brooklyn writing on a napkin. A big, brown paper towel/napkin.
I’m checking my shoulder ’cause my boyfriend may walk in and mess up this writing. Why would he mess it up? ‘Cause I’m trying to write this blog again. As you see, I stopped writing this blog during Christmas. Excuse me, I’m in pain. My period is killing me. I skipped it last month due to traveling and my thyroid going bonkers. There’s a lot I haven’t told you, so here’s a list:
1. I am in NYC, which reminds me, I haven’t told my ex-husband anything. I don’t know why I’m thinking about that, but for some reason it seems strange. I moved here Monday.
2. I am going to grad school here.
3. I spent October through January applying to schools.
4. I went to Paris this summer for 7 weeks.
5. Thyoid. Nuff said.
6. The last six or so months seem full of asking people if I could; they could; we could change my life: Would you let me into your school? Will you move with me to NYC? Will you tell me if I’ll be healthy enough to study in Paris? Will I feel better soon? Will your parents stop asking me to marry you? Will you stop saying it’s a big mistake?
I thought this blog was over. Not only am I not, “Reluctantly Moving to LA,” I already moved, lived in LA and am now back to NYC. I also have say that I was married when I moved to L.A. I didn’t want to go. 9 1/2 months after moving, we got separated. I stayed in LA and I’m glad I did. I can blankly say that I should have never married. Period. Him. Now I’m dead-set sure that I won’t marry again and I wear that knowledge like a badge (what a horrific sentence, but I have a strange rule that if I write a horrific sentence on a napkin during a fury of writing, I must keep it.) I’ve had to announce my not-wanting-to-marry to my boyfriend’s family when they asked about my “intentions.” They are very concerned about marriage and children, but this time I am honest. I was such a promise-making lady. “Oh yes, sure, I want a family, marriage and more,” but now I’m ambiguous.
I’ve gotten off track. I’m in Williamsburg. In pain. In an argument with my boyfriend. Looking for an apartment. Hoping I don’t repeat the past and fuck things up again.
I feel like I have to throw in my “excitement” for school to start and my “amazing time” in Paris so you don’t think I’m depressed, but I actually don’t care anymore.
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9 Comments
Is it bad to say that I don’t care where you live if you just write! Thanks for sharing.
Not bad at all. Made my night.
Welcome back, Jamie!
We missed ya.
Thank you! I really appreciate that, Damian.
well, then!
Barcade should be just around the corner from there. I love that place; retro gaming for quarters, while drinking? Not much better.
Well yep you have no idea who i am but i am glad your back to writing, you gave me some kind words on a prob i had with an ex fiancee, but all thats gone now; you see you writing is what most of us think but never say aaaa yes damned if you do speak your mind, theres a song called way seer reminded me of you and thats why i checked you blog again, good to see ur up and running, so hows the health?
Wow, am I glad you’re back in New York! New York missed you, big time!
Wow, are we in NYC glad to see Jamie Sneider back! We have really missed you!