I DON’T THINK PORN IS SO GREAT THAT WE CAN’T LIVE UP TO IT

I DON’T THINK PORN IS SO GREAT THAT WE CAN’T LIVE UP TO IT - (Isn’t that just the smartest title? I think there should be an academic conference on this subject.)

People who think that porn makes sex seem unrealistic, or think that sex can never match up to porn, are either watching the wrong porn or none at all. The End.

That’s my deep thought for today. Can I start this over? There is so much porn out there and so many categories and tags for whatever you’d like. There are women in porn who are hot with the finest bubble-butt-shaved-twats, and there also every variety to the other extreme. Amateur porn and animated porn are two of the most popular categories FYI…ok, I’m getting lost now in my amazing orgasm. What the fuck am I talking about?

There’s no real way to save this blog post. It’s just bad. I started getting loopy today when I decided that I needed to do work and also waste $14.00, so I lazily took my dog to doggy daycare to play for four hours, instead of just fucking walking him around the block. That seemed exhausting. I was talking to the 18 year old kid who works there about how free dogs are and how they just want to play, and how non-playful a humans lives are. Then, stupefied, I just watched my dog play for several minutes even though I could tell they wanted me to leave. Then I went home and put on porn and gleefully masturbated. Now I’m having coffee and chocolate and getting to work.

One day I won’t be a porn expert…or maybe I will. I boast about my porn habit like I’m the coolest chick in the world. “Yeah, I’m a feminist artist who loves watching porn! Give me a fucking sticker!” But the truth is, I feel a little like a robot who gets put in the closet at night. You know who I wanted to bone today? I had therapy at 2pm and there was an extremely hot man with a wedding ring going into his therapy across from me. I wanted to say, “Listen, you have problems, I have problems, let’s go fuck at the W Hotel after. I’ll get a room, I’ll eat every part of your body and we’ll call it a day. Ok?” .