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PREGNANT IN LA
March 17, 2012 09:03 -
MY TRIP TO LA
March 17, 2012 07:03 -
THE HENRY SOFA
March 10, 2012 18:03 -
THIS POST SUCKS
January 16, 2012 08:01 -
KNOCKED UP AROUND PALM TREES
October 25, 2011 14:10
Archive for the ‘Dating’ Category
FACEBOOK JEALOUSY
I may be the biggest hypocrite in the world writing this post. Not only do I post almost-naked pictures on this blog, but I also have people on my Facebook commenting in sexual ways. My boyfriend, god love him, tries to keep his cool though he did recently ask if he could write, “Listen asshole, [...]
THE WORLD CUP WAS SO STRESSFUL ‘CAUSE I HAD SEX WITH MEN FROM SEVERAL COUNTRIES!!!
I found the world cup so stressful ’cause I had sex with several of the represented countries. Who the hell was I supposed to root for? What do you do when you had sex with guys from opposite world cup teams? What incredible pressure! My boyfriend, the one I’m with now, was rooting for Spain in [...]
I’M NOT SURE WHICH SEX BOOK TO READ
Should I HAVE sex every day for one year, or STOP having sex for one year? I’m SO confused! Hephzibah Anderson (remind me not name my daughter that) wrote a book titled “Chastened,” about her year without sex. I could have done that — it’s basically called being single and hard-up. Now, I didn’t read [...]
THE BATHTUB
Sunday morning. I’m trying to create more balance in my life. Trying to be happier, though I shun the word. Shun it because it feels like sticky putty – something you’re stuck in, as fake and brittle as botox. But I’m trying. I sound not unlike a depressed person on the Dr. Oz show. I [...]
ENOUGH TALKING ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP, LET’S TALK ABOUT BEING A VEGAN
I think I just lost my male readers. Here’s the thing: I feel wicked unhealthy. Usually when I start a relationship, I work out a lot, eat well and dance around like a lunatic in love naked in the mirror and fantasize about my future strip routines. Well, that’s not really the case now. I’ve [...]
FUCK CORPORATE AMERICA
I do not function in corporate America. You may. That’s great. You may never function working at a bakery or a restaurant and writing and performing theater at night, but I do. I’m not going to continue lying to myself or others. If you don’t like me cause you think I’m less responsible, that’s fine. [...]
HOW TO LOVE A MAN
I can’t sleep tonight. It’s 1:51 am and I’m very tired, but wide awake. I’m sitting on my bed; laptop overheating on the sheets in front me. I tried downloading a movie on iTunes, but it took an hour and I don’t care about it anymore. I’m drinking something and thinking. A glass of wine [...]
HAPPY NEW YEAR. WENT TO A STRIP CLUB.
I’m gonna make this quick. I got shit to do today, including seeing my old flame (that’s such a bullshit euphemism), otherwise known as an “ex” because we are friends and he wants to say hello and uh…forget it. Let’s get cookin‘. Happy New Year. I am so much less of a Jew than I [...]
WRITING THE BANAL DAILY DRIVEL
This is a blog. By nature it feels like one should write a blog daily. The problem is that I write essays and I fear watering them down with daily drivels about random things, yet I may be underestimating the potential of this blog. I don’t want this to become my “The Artist’s Way” Morning [...]
WHAT THE HECK SHOULD WE TALK ABOUT?
So many interesting things happened in the last two weeks of not writing the blog. 1. I made out with some random guy from the Republic of Georgia at a strip club. Yes, I realize that makes me sound like complete whore, but I can honestly say it was very innocent. Well, not very innocent, [...]
SEXUAL MATURITY
“I just want to make love to him,“ I said out loud tonight while driving home from Whole Foods. “What is wrong with me?” I thought immediately after. This isn’t the same Jamie who wanted to marry every date after her divorce, or the clingy, prudish girl who has to really care about the men she [...]
LESBIAN HOPES DASHED BY EXPERIENCED THERAPIST
(There are so many things wrong with this picture. Not only are my graphic design skills horrible, but I’m sure I’m offending lesbians. I found this underwear when I Google’d lesbian images. I went into Photoshop and added the “not.” I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I’m working on it in therapy.) “I [...]