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PREGNANT IN LA
March 17, 2012 09:03 -
MY TRIP TO LA
March 17, 2012 07:03 -
THE HENRY SOFA
March 10, 2012 18:03 -
THIS POST SUCKS
January 16, 2012 08:01 -
KNOCKED UP AROUND PALM TREES
October 25, 2011 14:10
Archive for the ‘Working Out’ Category
ZUMBA AND SHAKIRA
I like the two words “Zumba” and “Shakira.” They remind me of David Letterman’s, “Oprah, Uma. Uma, Oprah.” This morning I took my first Zumba class. I’ve been wondering about “Zumba”, and since I am trying to get out of my paralyzing comfort-zone, I decided to check it out. I’m also trying to religiously go [...]
ASS RESOLUTION/ASS REVOLUTION
That may be the stupidest title of any blog post ever written, but it’s a movement (unintended pun) and I’m starting it now. Have no fear this isn’t a scatological entry — this is about my ass, my buttocks, my globes of joy. The buttocks in which I sit upon, on the wood chair in [...]
"FUCK THE PAIN AWAY"
The title of this post has nothing to do with what I’m writing, but I’m enjoying the song, “Fuck the Pain Away” by Peaches that my pole dancing teacher recommended. (That is probably the most awesome sentence I’ve ever written.) I just came home from my pole dancing class, which regretfully makes me sound like [...]
HOW TO LOVE A MAN
I can’t sleep tonight. It’s 1:51 am and I’m very tired, but wide awake. I’m sitting on my bed; laptop overheating on the sheets in front me. I tried downloading a movie on iTunes, but it took an hour and I don’t care about it anymore. I’m drinking something and thinking. A glass of wine [...]
THIS FLU HAS MADE MY BOOBS GET BIGGER!!!
I am not sure whether it was the 8,000 cookies that I devoured, or “just having the flu” that made my boobs humongous, but I’m betting on the cookies, the multi-dinners, the sitting and the 30 movie rentals. Jesus Christ! I am Ms. Voluptuous now. I’m too much of a woman for me. Seriously! I’m not [...]
FAT BRITNEY
It brings me a lot of pain to write this blog post. I don’t even want to, but when I sat on the toilet last night, I thought, “I don’t want to be Fat Britney.” What am I talking about? I am in a show tonight for Christmas and I am wearing a bikini-like costume [...]
OKAY, IT’S ALMOST MY BIRTHDAY!!! AND I’M WICKED PSYCHED!
Am I turning 12? No! But I’m feeling psyched. Why am I psyched? I’m single, I love men and I love LA. That is probably the stupidest sentence I have ever written, but I don’t care. Why? Cause it’s almost my birthday!!! I’m sitting in a cafe on this lovely LA Saturday. I’m drinking soda, [...]
DATE PARALYZES ME & SEX WITH MY GYM CRUSH
Hi Folks, I am sitting at my desk eating cookies and thinking about the last week. I have to say, I feel selfish writing about myself at such a unifying and historic time, but I can’t stand looking at my last post about spanking and my birthday. It’s kind of ridiculous. So, why haven’t I [...]
I BOUGHT WATER IN BULK! I FEEL RESPONSIBLE!
I had an incredible night. Why? Because I bought in bulk tonight. I went to gym around 6:30 p.m. and after I jammed out to my favorite songs I took my little car over to Target to pick up some dental floss, etc. When I arrived at Target, I made a big decision. “I’m going [...]
LOSE YOURSELF
I dream of making a music video to Eminem’s “Lose Yourself.” It would have me running, sweating, writing, studying, working – everything involved in making the calendar. I have TWO WEEKS to complete the calendar. I have to be like a warrior. A short warrior, but a warrior nonetheless. I have to have “calendar” on [...]
ALRIGHT, BACK TO WRITING. ENOUGH WITH THIS CALENDAR CRAP.
That’s the ‘cynical Jamie’s’ title above. She (I’m talking in 3rd person), is thinking that this blog is becoming too “Jewish Calendar focused.” We need to get back to the blog. Back to complaining about my husband, back to talking about my sex-life, lesbian dreams and living in LA. BACK TO RELUCTANTLY LIVING IN L.A.! [...]
HUSBAND IS PISSED ABOUT SECRET GYM CRUSH!
Okay, what I think is funny is actually starting to hurt my husband’s feelings. I am going to stop writing posts about my secret-crush gym-trainer. It’s not as if they aren’t true, but they aren’t nice. My secret-crush will no long be a topic on this site. I am filing him away under “in my [...]