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PREGNANT IN LA
March 17, 2012 09:03 -
MY TRIP TO LA
March 17, 2012 07:03 -
THE HENRY SOFA
March 10, 2012 18:03 -
THIS POST SUCKS
January 16, 2012 08:01 -
KNOCKED UP AROUND PALM TREES
October 25, 2011 14:10
Posts Tagged ‘Los Angeles’
PREGNANT IN LA
I imagine what it would be like to be pregnant in LA. This wouldn’t be a normal thought for me if I didn’t have a boyfriend who desires kids and to move back to Los Angeles ASAP after I graduate from my MFA program in NYC. I am also 35, which didn’t seem like a [...]
MY TRIP TO LA
On March 3rd, the inaugural day of my school’s Spring Break, I took a trip to Los Angeles with my boyfriend. I did not want to go for several reasons and anyone who knows my boyfriend, or me, or has had any contact with us in the last 8 months (especially the inhabitants of [...]
KNOCKED UP AROUND PALM TREES
I am trying to picture myself pregnant in LA. Shopping carts; heat; white lines on pavement; strolling carts; beach options; family. Often people say they want to be buried in a certain place. It’s probably where they should live. I used to tell my boyfriend, “Don’t you dare bury me in Los Angeles. Please bury me on [...]
FROM SEXY TO SLOB: MY NEW MAKEOVER
“I always try to look my best,” my male friend explained upon my arrival in Los Angeles three years ago, “Because you never know who you will run into and it’s important to always look your best.” I’ve been thinking about this sentiment and exactly what is my best. I have come to the conclusion [...]
NEW YORK CITY IS MY LOS ANGELES LOVE AFFAIR
I had a dream last night that I was shown an apartment in NYC. I didn’t exactly recognize the neighborhood; it was a mixture of the West Village meets the Lower East Side meets downtown Boston, not far from where I’m from. The apartment was very circular, like a box of four rooms, with very [...]
LET’S TALK ABOUT GIRLY THINGS!!!
I don’t know why “girly things” makes me think of frilly underwear, but it does. I mean, doesn’t the phrase “frilly, lacy panties” make you want to cream your pants? (Okay, I’m on vacation and I may be losing my mind.) Today I want to write about “girly things.” I am a girl and sometimes [...]
GOOD MORNING LOS ANGELES!
Can you imagine how horrible it would be if this blog was named, “GoodMorningLosAngeles.com”! I can think of a few annoying people who could write that blog. Anyway…I’m off to a negative start. It’s Tuesday, August 31st and I have shit to do. Starting today at 5pm, I begin my week off from my official [...]
TOP 10 PERIOD FOODS (X-RATED VERSION)
I just microwaved a plate of pretzels covered with string cheese and bananas. Am I high? No, I have my period. A plate of pretzels, melted banana with cheese plus a can Diet Rite and you got the perfect combination of salt, fat and sweet. You may be thinking: “That’s disgusting,” or, “Jamie sounds like white [...]
THE “I JUST GOT FIRED FROM A JOB I HATE” PLAN
I didn’t just get fired. I actually started a new job three months ago and I love it. I love it more than any job I’ve ever had. It’s a part-time writing gig, but it’s really a lot more and I admire everyone I work with. Without sounding cheesy, I feel lucky to work there. [...]
CRAIGSLIST ADS DRIVE ME TO INSANITY
I’m having one of those days where EVERYTHING pisses me off: The people in Los Angeles, plastic surgery ads on the radio and fucking Craigslist. Craigslist has given assholes a forum to post their fucked up shit. What am I talking about? I’m talking ads for apartments, jobs, etc. where people demand a lot of [...]
GETTING DIVORCED IN A UPS STORE
I feel like I’m on speed. This writing might sound like I’m throwing up on the page, but that’s because I just took two aerobic ass-crunching classes and then a spin class on 5 hours of sleep. Why? Why did I do such masochistic and extreme things to myself? Because my ass is getting to [...]
eHARMONY AND ME
My friend told me that she had a shitty experience with eHarmony. She didn’t actually go out on a date, but she said the process was hostile. They matched her 12 guys and then she was instantly rejected or “closed” by about 18 others, so she quit. She said that the eHarmony process began with [...]