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PREGNANT IN LA
March 17, 2012 09:03 -
MY TRIP TO LA
March 17, 2012 07:03 -
THE HENRY SOFA
March 10, 2012 18:03 -
THIS POST SUCKS
January 16, 2012 08:01 -
KNOCKED UP AROUND PALM TREES
October 25, 2011 14:10
Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’
MY STANCE ON MARRIAGE
I remember the first phone conversation I had with my ex-husband. It lasted all night. He asked me if I had a “wedding book.” “What’s that?” I asked. “It’s what girls keep to plan their dream wedding.” “Ha, I don’t have one of those. I’ve never really thought about that.” Something about that question – the [...]
I DON’T WANT TO GET A DIVORCE FOR FEAR OF FACEBOOK’S BROKEN HEART. IT’S TOO EMBARRASSING.
Anyone here on “Facebook”? Probably most of you. If you are, then you have seen the little red heart that indicates a relationship status, i.e. “John is now married,” or “John is engaged.“ There is another heart. A broken heart with a lighting bolt through it. It represents things like, “John is now single,” and [...]
WHY YOU WOULDN’T WANT TO BE MARRIED TO ME
It may sound counter-intuitive to write a list called, “WHY YOU WOULDN’T WANT TO MARRY ME,” but it came to mind when one person wrote in, “Your husband is a lucky man.” I felt a gulp of guilt, and thought, “I don’t know if you would want to be married to me.“ Here’s why: 1. [...]
"WHY HILLARY COULDN’T BE PRESIDENT," BY….MY HUSBAND
My husband did some really deep thinking this weekend, and blurted out his epiphany: “I KNOW WHY HILLARY CAN’T BE PRESIDENT! DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?“ I’m thinking…Bill, her aggression toward Obama, her vagina, the way people judge a President based on their vocal patterns… “Why?” I asked, giving him the momentary time of day. [...]
HUSBAND SUGGESTS WEEKLY “HIS WAY” DAY
While driving home from work yesterday, my husband blurted out: “I WISH THAT ONE DAY A WEEK YOU DID WHATEVER I WANTED. YOU WERE COMPLETELY SUBMISSIVE.” I lightly chuckled to myself, “Like that would ever happen,” but I was curious. “Oh, really?” I asked, “What do you mean? What would this day look like? Tell me.” [...]
DAMN IT! I RAN OUT OF UNDERWEAR THIS MORNING!!!
Shit, all I had left was this pair of ruffled underwear that some girl gave me for my “bachelorette party.” Like I ever wore them! I feel like a Mexican school girl at her birthday party. Lift up my skirt and spank me! They are between hideous and sexy. Sexy cause it’s like a little girl [...]
FEELIN’ BACK TO NORMAL
I took a hiatus from creating. You could say about three years. I wrote little doo-dads, shot a bit of a documentary, and the only “performing” I did was a New Years Eve go-go dancing gig I got in Boston. (wWhoopie!) My husband has never seen me perform, though I talk about my “old life” [...]
WRITING MAKES ME NOT CRAZY
I have trouble in groups. I just got back from a weekend trip to San Francisco with six people. Well, we met them there. But I don’t do well in groups. Not for 16 hours a day or more. I feel a bubbling eruption of panic. “God, get me out of here,” repeats in my [...]